This Word That has Come to Pass

I.

It’s an exercise that science fiction and fantasy writers love: building a world. From the time I read my first fantasy novel as a child, I’ve tried my hand at it often over the years. All children do this: they imagine and re-imagine, living out many possible realities, effortlessly. We adults in modern times, unfortunately, have a tendency to neglect our imaginations and let them grow lazy and a little stupid, accepting whatever images might float their way, and doing little to actively or meaningfully engage in alternate realities.

As a result of this neglect, our grasp on our own reality has faltered and slipped away. How can you know our reality unless you know what a reality is? And how can you know what anything is unless you grasp what it can and can’t do—unless you grasp its possibilities? A good mechanic builds experimental cars, that he tinkers around with to see what he can make them do. A good imagination, likewise, builds experimental worlds.

Do you think this world is not fair? It is very possible that you do; we even have a popular saying: “Life’s not fair.” It’s the conventional wisdom that justice is not always served, good does not always win.

Now before we get into an argument about whether not fair is an accurate assessment of our reality, why don’t we go through the exercise of building a reality, and of making it as fair as possible.

From a material point of view, socialists and communists have long made this their project: to re-imagine a society that is totally fair, in which everyone gets everything they need and no one is unequally benefited or punished. The U.S. Constitution itself is based on “liberty and justice for all,” on the idea that “all men are created equal.” But even though these ways of thinking have a had a tremendous impact on the world, I want to go further—a lot further. In fact I’m going to argue that we need to go further, or else we will have failed to understand what fairness, justice, or equality even are. Let alone what a reality is. We’re going to need to dig deep—into the metaphysics, the foundational philosophy of the topic, and all its spiritual aspects. But we can start with the material question, which is simpler.

Socialistic fairness is about the most simplistic idea there is. It basically says that everyone gets the same, regardless of what they deserve. “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need,” as Karl Marx put it. You get what you need to live, period. This is the simplest kind of equality, totally flat, regardless of deserts.

But even if such socialism could be perfectly achieved in practice, is it really fair? I think sound reason says no. People should get what they deserve. If you work harder, you deserve more. If you don’t contribute, you deserve nothing. Even children know this – look up the story of the Little Red Hen, and it will tell you everything you need to know on this point. There is no need to go into the subtleties of communist ideology.

With Capitalism you get a little closer to the truth (though not much). Capitalism is based on the idea of the right to property. It basically says: “Everyone deserves whatever people are willing to trade for their services.” This is a good maxim, as far as it goes. But it does not go very far, and it would be a mistake to adopt Capitalism as your social ideology, because in reality “Capitalism” was nothing but a label introduced by Karl Marx in the 1800’s to demonize the status quo—and denigrate the economic habits of the human race back to the dawn of history. The fact is, the right to property (i.e. capital) has a long and venerable history, and no truly wise person thinks it should be abolished.

Owning capital is only part of fairness, and a very tiny part. It’s obvious that there’s more to it, or people would have been satisfied with the right to property alone and laughed off the idea of communism. But nobody rests spiritually satisfied with economics … or at least no one should rest here. To think that property is the end of all existence is superficial—it’s quite literally materialistic.

So let’s get into the next level down of fairness: justice. Sure, there are laws in place to preserve property—but does this assure us that no theft takes place? Even worse, in our reality we have murders, lying, violence, and fraud. No set laws will ever rid us of these things, not completely. Our laws do, it is true, seek to re-establish justice after a crime has been committed. This happens in several ways. Reparations can be made: what is stolen can be given back. Punishments are dealt out: who is guilty is taught a lesson by hardship, and those who would imitate their crimes are given a deterrent in the example that is set. Societies that neglect reparation and punishment quickly fall into chaos, with the strong ruling the weak. These things are indispensable, though carried out imperfectly.

In a perfect world, people like to say, crimes would never occur. And this is true. Only imperfect people do bad things. If everyone were perfect, no one would make another person suffer for their own benefit. And that is all that crime is—the trampling on the rights of others. Socialists like to say that if everyone had enough to eat there would be no crime. But it is the rare exception of the man that steals or lies or kills simply for something to eat. Look at real crime and real criminals and you will see that it is far more common for people to kill or steal to “get ahead.” Students don’t cheat because they’re starving. Wall Street pyramid schemes are not built by street rats. Again, communism and socialism are not founded in reality—they are merely seductions to revolution. They lack a clear view of where the source of the imperfections of our world lies.

What is the source of human imperfection? It is certainly not hunger, as the socialists claim. “Getting ahead,” is more the truth, and I can’t think of a single crime that doesn’t somehow involve this. And what is the desire to get ahead but pride? Our crimes are based on pride, and I challenge anyone to find me a counterexample to this. In fact, all imperfections whatsoever, however slight, come down to this. You might argue that being bad at math is a kind of imperfection that doesn’t always reduce to pride. But my answer to this is that a perfect world would not require everyone to be good at math, only to never cheat at it. Perfection does not consist in cleverness but in kindness. If everyone were kind and generous, you would have a perfect world. But everyone being clever still leaves open the door for cunning and strife.

The fact remains that we live in a world with proud and unkind people. Socialism does not offer a solution to this problem, nor does Capitalism. It’s a question of the heart. The world is not fair, that is, because fairness does not reign in all hearts.

Imagine that some day the world is made fair. Everyone who has ever unfairly taken advantage of anyone is punished, exactly as they deserve. Anyone who ever was unfairly treated, or sacrificed their own well-being for another is rewarded, just as they deserve. Many people have died over the course of human history and never received justice. So let’s bring them all to life, too, and give them their fair punishments and rewards. This is beyond what our technology can do, but let’s imagine that it can be done. This, then, would make the world fair.

There being such a thing as a judgment day, when all is made fair, is exactly what Catholics believe. Though it is beyond our technology, it not beyond what God can do, who created everything and who we know to be all-powerful. Since He is all good, we know that He will not fail to make all things fair. A belief in Judgment Day, therefore, is a logical belief. It is hard to imagine a good God creating our world and not wanting a day of accounting.

Many these days challenge the idea of judgment, claiming that it is not fair to punish people for what they do, since our actions are so based on circumstances. Surely there are people who would have committed murder but didn’t, because they (fortunately) didn’t have a chance to. Other people who would normally have resisted a temptation were caught off guard, in bad company, and later deeply regretted their crime. Maybe there are people who would not have done the bad things they did if they had been living in a perfect world.

But this just shows again that it’s about the heart. Shouldn’t it be the heart that is judged, rather than simply the fairness of the actions? Isn’t it good will and kindness that make someone worthy, and bad will and selfishness that are the real evils? Absolutely. It is purity of heart that suits one for Heaven. It wasn’t Mary’s deeds that made her Queen, but her Immaculate Heart. St. Paul wrote that all the good deeds in the world are useless without love. If a child helps out with a bad attitude, only because they have to, or says sorry without really meaning it, isn’t this a problem? And if a child tries to help but makes a mistake, or means to say sorry but doesn’t know how, isn’t this still good? Christ said that much will expected of those who are given much, and less will be expected of those who are given less.

And this principle of God’s judgment, we believe, goes very deep, even into the deepest depths of the heart. Such are the riches of the Heart of Jesus. For instance, criminals usually come from the rougher parts of town. They are less educated in morality, have perhaps been loved less by parents, or have been thrown into violent circumstances. Many were raised knowing nothing of God or religion or morality. Of such people, a fair judgment would look more at how they have tried to help themselves and those around them to love more and more. Perhaps, by the standards of better-raised people they were not very kind or loving. But maybe for their circumstances they strove heroically for what is good and true and beautiful, diamonds in the rough, Robin Hoods among thieves. Traditional Catholicism teaches “baptism by desire,” where those who heroically strive for Truth may attain to salvation, even if they are completely ignorant of the true Church. What will save us is our heart of hearts, an essential good will that desires truth, everything better and higher, and the good of our neighbor. Such a heart, always striving for perfection whatever comes, even when plagued with ignorance, imperfections, and sin, will not fail to win the compassion of God. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Such is the plea of the compassionate heart of Christ.

I’ve digressed into theology, but it is impossible to speak of these things from any other point of view. Philosophers get as far as personal virtue, but only true Christians have delved into the nature of the human heart. So this hasn’t been a digression at all, but merely coming to the point. In an ideal world, people will be judged on their heart of hearts. Because those who truly desire goodness are well-suited for a perfect world. Those who merely desire self-importance are not well-suited for perfect world. So in our design of an ideal world, we must include a Judgment that welcomes the pure of heart and excludes the selfish. In designing an ideal world, we are led to something that looks just like the Kingdom of Heaven. “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.” This was the essential teaching of Christ.

Some people doubt that there is such a thing as free will. They argue that our minds operate by blind laws of physics, and that there is no supernatural spark that allows us to transcend these laws that govern the motions of the atoms in our brains. This denial of free will is mistaken, first because minds cannot (nor can any composites of form and matter) be reduced to merely material constituents, regardless of the truth of the laws of physics; and second because the supernatural is in fact real, as has been proven exhaustively in human history, by philosophy, by science, and by revelation. But it is not my purpose to dwell on the proofs of the reality of free will, but rather on the justice of the reality of free will. What do I mean by this? The question is: How can anything be fair or made fair without free will? Without free will, there could be no justice, because there would be no responsibility. Without free will, no decision can belong to you. And if you don’t own your decisions, there is no such thing as morality, and no good or evil—nor can there be a perfect world or a heaven. But in reality everyone desires freedom, fairness, and goodness. And this desire is itself proof of the reality of these things. Because even if evolution were true and these desires were merely adaptations, they would have to be desires for real things or else they would be maladaptations. No organism could evolve to desire food in a reality where food doesn’t exist. No organism could evolve to use locomotion in a reality where motion is impossible. (Nor a desire for the supernatural where it is not real, by the way.) Likewise, no humans could evolve to use free will to obtain goodness if neither free will nor goodness were real. But this is all to speak foolishness, because the idea of evolution (that what is perfect and complete can proceed from what is imperfect and incomplete) is at best a misunderstanding of how things were actually created. Either way, the fact remains that there is a moral reality and that this cannot be reasonably doubted under any practical world-view.

So it’s good that there is free will, good that there is responsibility, and good that there is fairness and justice. In Scripture, justice and judgment are seen as something to celebrate: “He hath revealed His justice … Sing joyfully unto God, all the earth; sing, rejoice, and give praise … for He cometh to judge the earth. He will judge the world with justice, and the peoples with equity.” (Psalm XCVII)

All desire freedom. All desire fairness and justice. Therefore God, being a good God, has given us free will. It is our free will that allows us to make choices that ennoble us, that allow us to pursue fairness and justice.

II.

“I was exalted like a palm-tree in Cades, and as a rose-plant in Jericho: As a fair olive tree in the plains, and as a plane-tree by the water in the streets, was I exalted. I gave a sweet smell like cinnamon, and aromatic balm: I yielded a sweet odor like the choicest myrrh.” —Ecclesiasticus, Chapter 24 (Wisdom speaks of herself)

We’ve spoken of justice, but what of mercy? Wouldn’t a good God be merciful as well as just? Or are the two not compatible? We naturally expect God to be as understanding as possible. This is why, I think, so many see him as lenient. While it’s mistaken to call Him lenient, I agree that an infinitely wise Father would give each person as many chances as they need. This, in fact, is the Catholic doctrine. The worst sinners, even repeat offenders, who go to Our Lady (one of our affectionate terms for the Blessed Virgin Mary) having true sorrow for their sins, will be helped and—if sincere—will undoubtedly make it to Heaven. True forgiveness, of course, is only possible with true sorrow. So forgiveness is never gotten for free. You can’t forgive a murderer who wants to murder again. Such “forgiveness” would sin against justice, even if it sounds merciful. If this was how God did things, Heaven would be full of unjust and selfish people with no remorse for their wrongdoing. No, remorse must be genuine.

Those who forgive are forgiven. Christ told a parable about a man who refused to forgive his debtor his debt, and took everything he had. But later, this man found himself in the same situation, and begged the judge for mercy. But the judge knew what he had done to the other man and simply threw him in prison. In the Our Father prayer, given to us by Jesus and prayed by many Protestants too, you pray, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Christ also said, “For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

But if you are truly sorry for your sins, and merciful to others, Christ taught, God will have mercy on you despite your own shortcomings. Even to the last moment of your life. This is where the expression “at the eleventh hour” comes from. The “eleventh hour” was by ancient Judaean convention the last hour of the workday. In another parable Jesus tells of a man who struggled to find laborers for his vineyard. He was so grateful to those who showed up he payed those who worked for only the last hour of the day the same as those who worked for the entire day. This parable teaches many lessons, but one is to expect repentant sinners—even those who repent on their deathbed—to receive rewards in Heaven comparable to the life-long faithful.

In an ideal world, you would know exactly when to let a criminal out of prison, because you could see his heart and know when he was truly reformed. God’s mercy is like this. It sees into our hearts. Prior to death, no heart is beyond hope, because it can still make the free decision to repent.

I have heard it argued that not even death can close off the possibility of mercy and forgiveness. But this belief comes from a misunderstanding of death.

We do not know death in our society. We have forgotten the meanings of the deepest words and concepts. If death is death, then it is the end—it is Judgment Day for the individual soul. And there must be a Judgment Day for life to be fair or just, or for God to be merciful of forgiving. Without death and judgment, nothing that we’ve been discussing would be real. All meaning is premised on there being a final reckoning.

We moderns live under a tyranny not of slaughter, but of hatred of the truth, and fear of it. If teachers could never mark an answer wrong or criticize an essay, if parents could never punish their children or at least lecture them on their mistakes, if no judgment were possible whereby truth is separated from falsehood, then truth is destroyed. The tyranny of modernism would kill our spirits. It would damn our souls and have us live in ignorance total.

Our modernist jailer has thrown away the key; he’s convinced us that life in prison is easier. And it is easier, in a way: it’s not as demanding. You don’t have to find a job. There’s no real responsibility. But the price of this is losing freedom—losing the truth that will set you free. As a believer in Judgment Day, you now realize your responsibility to live with virtue. You become a master of your own fate, and not simply a slave to your own whims.

How can I convince you that the people of the Middle Ages, living their lives under the belief in Judgment, were real people? They were utterly opposite of the idiots portrayed in Monty Python. They were more real than we are. They lived true lives, and not shadow lives, as we do. We blindly stumble from one passion to the next. (Passion used to be recognized as the enemy.) Our prayer needs to be: “Lord, that I may see …” (Luke 18:41).

Have mercy on us, O God, and give us light. We stumble and stumble … in confusion and night …

Have mercy … be a mother to us, and take us in your arms and teach us.

Let us all pray every day for the mercy of truth, of coming home to Wisdom, our true Mother. On that day we will repent of having loved the world, and having repented, we will be forgiven.

III.

“Our help is in the name of the Lord: Who hath made heaven and earth.” —Psalm 123

People apply these things to almost every situation, but rarely to the question of the meaning of life:

• faith
• obedience
• virtue
• hope
• love
• prudence

We try to have faith in each other and in ourselves, and neglect faith in God. We aim to follow the science, and forget all about tradition. We want to be “good” people, but almost never saints. We place our hopes in progress, not in the afterlife. We try to save the planet, but rarely our souls. We love by giving bread, rather than wisdom. We are prudent to save for retirement, but forget to save up treasures in heaven. We pay for life insurance, but skimp on life-after-death insurance.

And what is the safest insurance policy against Judgment Day? For there is no greater disaster than losing one’s soul for all eternity.

The safest haven is the only truth that dares to call itself Truth, and that is the underground Traditional Catholic* faith. No other faith believes in Judgment**. So if Judgment Day is real, no other faith can help you.

(*We’re called “sedevacantists” in the underground Church because we believe the chair [Latin: “sede”] of the Pope to “vacant.” So if you want to do an Internet search, use the term “sedevacantism.” It’s not a religion in itself, just a position on the current state of the Catholic Church.)

(**It might be claimed that Islam is another faith that claims the title of Truth. But you can find several passages in the Koran saying that Christians and Jews are also saved.)

There are those “Traditional Catholics” who “recognize” that man in the Vatican, Francis, to be Pope. This cannot be the true faith, because Francis is an apostate, an Antipope. And even if they are right to follow him (they claim he is just a bad Pope), then they are bound to admit that all “Catholics” who follow Francis faithfully will be saved. But Francis says that even Protestants and Muslims and atheists who do not recognize him as pope can be saved. Therefore, if anyone who follows Francis is saved, then so is anyone in the underground Traditional Catholic Church. But if the underground Church is right, then many of those who follow Francis will be damned, because they are following an apostate. So the underground Church is safer.

It’s actually safer under almost any assumption. According to Protestants you only have to accept Jesus as your savior, and you are saved. So Catholics would be saved even if Protestants are right. And according to the major Eastern Religions, New Agers, and Atheists, it doesn’t really matter what you believe, so there is no loss if they are true. If you look at the diagram below, you will see how this plays out. Other religions might harm your soul, but not ours, because we are the only one that holds to there being one absolute truth. You may be shocked to see so many marked as “damned” under the Traditional view, but keep in mind that this judgment is ultimately reserved to God. No one is damned for not having a chance to learn the truth. You can only go to hell if you were offered a chance to learn to the truth, but rejected it. To reject truth is to reject God, because as it says in Scripture, He is the Truth. So we must all be diligent in finding the way to Heaven. I believe the below chart is helpful, because it shows the first place we need to be looking for truth. And that’s the Catholic Church, because it has the strongest claim on logical consistency, holding fast to its dogmas, and not caught in cycle of relativism and thinking that “anything goes.” Notice that everyone can be saved without even seeking the truth under the mainstream “Catholic” view. But in this case, how can we say that this religion has anything to teach us that we need to know?

WHO IS SAVED? (among those who strove for saintly perfection)	(Was it possible for you to search for and find the One Truth?)	Traditional Catholicism (sede-vacantist) says you’re:	“Traditional Catholicism” (recognizing Francis) says you’re:	Mainstream “Catholicism” says you’re:	Mainline Protestant Beliefs say you’re:	Buddhism/Hinduism/ New Age/ Atheism say you’re:
Traditional Catholics (sede-vacantist):	Yes	Saved	“Doubtful”	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
	“No“	–	“Saved”	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
“Traditional Catholics” (recognizing Francis):	Yes	Doubtful	“Saved”	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
	No	Saved	–	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
Mainstream “Catholics”:	Yes	Damned	“Saved”	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
	No	Saved	“Saved”	–	“Saved”	“No Worse”
Protestants:	Yes	Damned	“Damned”	“Saved”	“Saved”	“No Worse”
	No	Saved	“Saved”	“Saved”	–	“No Worse”
Eastern Religions/New Age/Atheist:	Yes	Damned	“Damned”	“Saved”	“Damned”	N/A
	No	Saved	“Saved”	“Saved”	“Damned”	N/A

* Muslims, Jews, and non-Mainline Protestants are not included because they do not have definitive teachings on whether those of other religions are saved.

Please keep in mind that the only vertical column that is actually true is the Traditional Catholicism column, in italics. The other columns are included for rhetorical purposes only, to show the safety of the Traditional view. The best thing you can do, no matter what your current faith, is to (1) pray for saintly perfection, (2) diligently seek and pray for the true religion, and (3) ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins so that you will be safe from Hell when you die. Only if you are diligent in all three of these will you be safe, no matter where you stand in relation to the truth.

It is tempting for some people to look at the New Age or Mainstream “Catholic” religion and point out that they are very “compassionate” religions, allowing everyone to be saved. But my point is that such a religion is worthless to join because it can’t increase your chance of being saved. Only religions that teach real consequences in the afterlife can actually make a difference to your salvation.

You will also notice that the rows for “Traditional Catholics” who still recognize a Pope look just as good as the rows for real Traditional Catholics. But this does not mean that the “Traditional” Church is just as good. This table can only show the self-contradiction of those beliefs that are indifferent towards contrary beliefs. As for churches that claim to be the One True Church and are not, they have to be examined according to their specific doctrines. The contradiction in “Traditional Catholicism” is the impossibility of “recognizing” Francis as Pope while also “resisting” his teachings. Thus the underground Church stands alone as the only self-consistent set of beliefs, aside from being plentifully confirmed by the many Saints and miracles it has produced.

IV.

“But such as turn aside into deceits, the Lord shall number with the workers of iniquity.” –Psalm 124

On Judgment Day, the Non-Catholic might have a conversation with Christ that goes something like this:

CHRIST: What do you think that you deserve? Heaven or Hell?

NON-CATHOLIC: Well, I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to be judged according to Catholic beliefs, so Judgment is coming as something of a surprise. But I’ve heard that you are merciful and I think I was a pretty good person, so maybe that can be good enough?

CHRIST: Here in the Book of Life it says you cheated on your spouse.

NON-CATHOLIC: Again, I didn’t know that the Bible was true. I was doing the best I could.

CHRIST: Was that really your best? Look at how many lives you ruined by your infidelity. You split up the family, and your children got into drugs and were in and out of rehabilitation centers. Your spouse lost hope and threw himself into work and never thought about God again. Didn’t you think your choices might affect your neighbor?

NON-CATHOLIC: I wasn’t happy in my marriage. It wasn’t fair. My parents pressured me into it. And my spouse was always lazy around the house and never wanted to find a higher paying job or ask for a raise. We weren’t in love anymore.

CHRIST: You made a promise to stay together forever by your own free will. But then you broke that promise for all selfish reasons, and you ruined many lives. Never in your life did you truly ask God for forgiveness. You were even happy to learn that your “ex” was struggling. In your heart you were no good. You did not love your neighbor, as I commanded.

NON-CATHOLIC: Can’t I have a second chance?

CHRIST: Did you give your spouse a second chance?

NON-CATHOLIC: This isn’t fair! I didn’t know that you were real!

CHRIST: You didn’t care. You had several friends talk to you about Me, but you never really weighed the evidence. You said, “Jesus is so basic. I’m beyond all of that.” You were too proud to think that you could be wrong about anything.

NON-CATHOLIC: I had some bad experiences in religion growing up. I did accept you into my heart when I was young, and I did try to be good for many years. But then I realized that the religious people I knew were too strict and didn’t respect my dreams and aspirations. They were stuck in superstition and overly concerned with following rigid rules that bring down your freedom and self-esteem. That’s why I rejected traditional Catholicism.

CHRIST: You felt a secret thrill in going your own way. But in all this chasing after thrills, you were deeply hurting your kids and husband. You were selling them out for a bit of excitement.

NON-CATHOLIC: You want everyone to just live a boring life, where everything is by the book? Sorry, that just isn’t for me. This is so not fair. I can’t take all this guilt, and I never could. Everyone needs to be free to choose their own meaning in life.

CHRIST: Not when that meaning tramples on the lives of others. Guilt can be a good thing. You always preferred feeling good over doing the right thing.

NON-CATHOLIC: My feelings tell me what’s right and wrong.

CHRIST: That’s why you’re about to finally learn the truth in the only way your soul knows how—by finally feeling the guilt you’ve been avoiding.

NON-CATHOLIC: But forever is such a long time! Can’t I just have another chance? Wouldn’t a good God send me back?

CHRIST: I gave you many chances and you threw them all away. Every time you felt guilty—which was a doorway to Me—you ran blindly with another passion instead facing your own sin. In this way you avoided the Truth, and if I gave you another life you would only continue to avoid the Truth this way, forever. That wouldn’t be fair or just if I allowed you the satisfaction of living forever according to your own whims, trampling on others to feel better about yourself. Instead of this, the only just outcome is for you to feel your guilt as deeply as you need to for all time, because then your cruel heart will get exactly what it wants to give to others, and you will always glorify God by knowing the Truth and experiencing it in the only way you accept—by feelings. These feelings will not be pleasant, but they are exactly what is just. In my mercy you will suffer no more pain than you deserve for what you are, and no less. This is the Judgment of God.

NON-CATHOLIC: I don’t want anything to do with God! I never want to see you again!

CHRIST: And that is why you are exiled from His Kingdom. You never will know the bliss of loving God in His presence, of loving Me face-to-face. And this will be a deeper pain than any flames, no matter how hot. Those who love their neighbor and love the truth will always find their way to Me, and if they are willing to suffer to overcome their imperfections, they will be admitted into the bliss of My presence forever, to rejoice for all time in the heroic love they showed for God and man.

***

On the other hand, a sorrowful soul might have a conversation like this:

CHRIST: What do you think that you deserve? Heaven or Hell?

SORROWFUL SOUL: Surely I deserve Hell. I was raised in a bad neighborhood, by bad parents, and I took to a life of crime. I was not well educated, and for years I was addicted to drugs and ran with a bad crowd, and committed many crimes. It was not until the later years of my life that I began to look for You. I went to a few churches, but … but … I couldn’t seem to find the right one …

CHRIST: There is no need to cry, my son, I am here to set everything right. Don’t worry, your sorrow justifies you, along with your love of the Truth. If you had lived a little longer, you would have found my church.

SORROWFUL SOUL: So why did I die so soon?

CHRIST: Because your heart, by its intense longing for goodness and perfection, actually reached it. There was no need for you to remain any longer on earth. You were made ready for Heaven by your sorrow.

SORROWFUL SOUL: But so many people that did more good deeds than I did have gone to Hell. They gave millions to charity, they ran soup kitchens, they educated poor people in the slums. I didn’t do anything like this. How is it possible that I am saved and they were not?

CHRIST: I told you that “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.” I also said, “Blessed are those who mourn.” Many people who do great things do them out of pride, to exalt themselves, and not out of love. In their hearts they do not really care to help others, only themselves. On your part your heart desired greatly to serve me and to help others, and that is what matters most. Remember when your friends were beating up that poor young man, and almost killed him?

SORROWFUL SOUL: I do, but I wasn’t even able to help! I rushed in screaming but I was clobbered with a baseball bat and lost consciousness before I could do any good!

CHRIST: But that showed your great love for your neighbor, that you would gladly charge into a dozen angry men with clubs to save him, even though there was little chance of success! “Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for Me.” This act of love for you friend was an act of love for God. How beautiful a Saint you will make in Heaven! How many people on Earth you will be given the power to save! How lovingly you and God will gaze at each other forever! You will have your every desire in Heaven. Nothing ever fails with God at your side, and nothing ever comes to nothing. All of your desires for justice, love, and joy will be fulfilled. These tears you are weeping now—shall be your last.

SORROWFUL SOUL: It is all so hard to believe. But I do believe! I think I have always—deep in my heart—believed.

CHRIST: And that is why I tell you now: come! Come enjoy your newfound life, your life eternal and ever-blessed!

Someone asked me recently, “What was the most surprising thing you learned during your conversion?” I said there were many surprises, of every kind you can imagine, and they were all “good” surprises, meaning that they took something that only kind of made sense and fit it into a picture that makes perfect sense. All the pieces fit now. As a new acquaintance, also a convert (and a reader), described it to me: before, all the science and history and spirituality I was taught would make me go, hm, I don’t really get that, and I would try to understand it and couldn’t, and I would settle for an explanation that didn’t satisfy me; but that’s what I was used to doing so I’d just shrug my shoulders and move on.

For us on the other side, the days of shrugging and moving on are over. Now, we’ll sit and hammer it out, and the aha’s keep rolling in, and there is a pleasant quiet that settles on our souls now, an ability to pray and meditate with focus and love. To give ourselves to God without reservation. Because we have become His people and we have Someone to trust.

But how can we know? Are we perhaps deluded by our emotions? As Catholics we make it a priority to battle our emotions, our passions, our fallen human nature. It was reason that brought many of us here, and it is reason that keeps us here. How can we know? Because God has revealed Himself.

I meet a lot of readers. Some are cradle Catholics, others are people who read their way into the Traditional Catholic church, like myself. Some started as Protestants, some as atheists, Mormons, New Age, agnostic, Vatican II ‘Catholic,’ everything. It’s always the same story, and it’s always a completely different story. “I had no idea.” We all came from a life where we felt isolated in our thinking; we felt like we were the crazy ones, and maybe the only person in the world who thought how we thought. I remember seeing all the propaganda in the media, the endless denigration of family and God and tradition, to where I couldn’t stand movies or TV shows, or social media, or the news. So I stopped watching it. I’d look around and say, “Are you seeing this? Am I the only one?” Now, I can just name a certain show and I get looks of understanding. “I know. We’ve had to be more careful with Disney too.”

***

“Having eyes, see you not? and having ears, hear you not? Neither do you remember.” (Mark 8:18)

There is so much to say, I don’t know where to start. I will do my best to use a broad brush here, to give you an idea of the lay of the land. There is no need to bring up anything you can’t already infer from what you know. You can read your way into Catholicism, but you can also just see your way in. Pray for grace. When I prayed for grace, it rolled in, in waves. God’s grace is unlimited, and it multiplies itself like the fishes and the loaves. Just ask, and receive.

Think back on your life, how God has led you by degrees closer to the truth. The first step in this journey is simply this: to desire the truth. To want the truth above all else. To be willing to suffer for it, to sacrifice everything for it. (Start like this: instead of “entertainment” tonight, read an informative book.) This desire for truth—just by itself—is very pleasing to God, and He will satisfy it quickly. Everyone I know who made it, started with this desire. God’s grace begins to work on you beforeyou even realize it. I’ll pray for something, some insight or some grace, and then I’ll look back on my life and realize that he had been preparing me to receive this grace all along. Prayers work retroactively, because God is eternal and all-powerful.

“See you not?”

This is the view from the mountaintop. Let’s not be discouraged—let’s not heckle or argue or, as they say, “get lost in the weeds.” See that silver S, winding its way far off? It’s the river of God’s graces, collecting tributaries, growing, magnifying itself through history, through your life. And that brown muck over there, that flood that we have climbed this mountain to escape, to gain a perspective on, see how vast it is, but also how shallow? It’s extent and power are not what you think. It seems that the devil is everywhere and controls everything, but he is weak, even laughably weak.

***

Basically everything you were taught about the history of world, of the universe, of Western civilization, of the modern world—it is all upside-down. Turn it over and you will see not the jumble you were taught in high school or college, but the real portrait of humanity and its struggle against God.

Here’s some books you might try, from easiest to hardest. Seven Lies about Catholic History, by Diane Moczar; How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization, by Thomas Woods; Defenders of Christendom, by James Fitzhenry; The Mystical Body of Christ in the Modern World, by Father Denis Fahey; The Occult War, by Leon de Poncins; The War of Antichrist with the Church and Christian Civilization, by Msgr. George Dillon. And this would be dipping your toe in. These focus on concrete facts and primary sources, and are extremely well-referenced. Any one of these books alone overturns half of what I learned in AP European History as a high school student.

What do I mean when I say turned upside down? For one thing, what we call the Dark Ages in modern times, were really the Ages of Light or Illumination. What we call the Ages of Enlightenment or Reason or Rebirth in modern times, were really Dark Ages.

In most ways the Medieval Ages were the high point in Western history. You had the Cathedrals, yes, and you had widespread hospitals and schools and monasteries. You had very little crime, though there were occasional wars. Families were not broken up as they are today—you had a society solidly built, in which authority was respected and—generally speaking—people worked together and valued honesty and integrity over material gain. It was the age of chivalry and heroism and saints—of high ideals. All agriculture was organic. It was what we call today “permaculture” or “sustainable.” There was no widespread media addiction or porn addiction, no mass propaganda, and drug addiction was virtually unknown (though of course you had your occasional sinners and drunkards in the city). Children were actually disciplined, and disciplined well. Most of them learned a trade by the age of 10 or so.

There was—and here we get to the real upshot—very little of what 19^th century philosophers called “decadence.” Art was not about exciting our passions (which were regarded as sinful) but it was primarily religious. Music was 99% Christian, paintings were mostly Christian themed, and most books were about the Church or spirituality. Ninety-nine out of a hundred people, in fact, belonged to the same Christian denomination! Just imagine. To always have an authority on every question pertaining to the Meaning of Life. How could it have been such a utopia? This is how: everyone knew why the existed and what God expected of them.

But no, today’s utter confusion is better, they say. It’s “progress.” What does it mean that we live longer today? What does it mean that we spend our lives chasing money to pay for treatments to prolong our travails in this life, and to make our passing as painless as possible? In the Middles Ages, you were taught to be a spiritual warrior. You were taught that all our suffering, offered up to God, exalts us. Today, you are taught the opposite of this sublime truth, and so we are weaklings who believe that our greatest achievement is to overcome death by artificial means for another decade or two. In the Middle Ages, if there was a plague, they turned to God, threw themselves at his feet, and asked Him to reveal to them their sins so they could make their lives better. In this way every misfortune actually brought more souls into more glory in Heaven. They considered war and disease as punishments and deserved humiliations from God. Today, when people suffer, the blaspheme God, say “I hate my life,” and put their trust in human ingenuity, digging themselves deeper. Pride, do you forget? is the deadliest sin—and we live in the proudest age of all. Physically, perhaps we cheat death more often. But spiritually, we are headed off a cliff. No, I should rather say that, on the whole, we have already tumbled off that cliff and into the abyss.

We live not in an age of progress or peace, but rather in the age of war in the spiritual abyss.

And why is that? Because people are not remembering, nor are they really seeing. Turn off your screen, and look around. Pick up a book, and remember.

“Behold thy mother and thy brethren, without, seek for thee. And answering them, he said: Who is my mother and my brethren? … For whosoever shall do the will of God, he is my brother, and my sister, and my mother.” (Mark 3:32-35)

1

What is the meaning of life? I mean what is the meaning of life?

We’ve spoken of what it means to have a life. It means listening to God, by whatever messenger he sends to us. It means seeking God, and seeking him in all honesty, not compromising the truth. It means knowing that the truth is absolute, and you can’t just make it up for your yourself. This is having a life–it is that search we wanderers are making.

To have a life is to seek out the meaning of life. And what will we find? In any search there are two possible outcomes:

1. You find what you’re looking for.
2. You fail to find what you’re looking for.

St. Teresa once had a vision of outcome #2:

I was one day in prayer when I found myself in a moment, without knowing how, plunged apparently into hell. … [I]t was our Lord’s will I should see the place which the devils kept in readiness for me, and which I had deserved by my sins. … I felt a fire in my soul. I cannot see how it is possible to describe it. … I have undergone most painful sufferings … yet all these were nothing in comparison with what I felt then, especially when I saw that there would be no intermission, nor any end to them. [And in turn these] sufferings were nothing in comparison with the anguish of my soul …this inward fire and despair … utterly without the power to hope for comfort.

The Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila, Ch. XXXII

The Saints are unanimous in their descriptions of Hell. It is physical suffering of which one moment is greater than all the sufferings on earth combined. And it is spiritual suffering whose pain is still infinitely worse: the torment of eternal separation from God.

St. Teresa explains that her vision of Hell “was one of the grandest mercies of our Lord.” She says it was “of the greatest service” having “destroyed my fear of trouble and of contradiction in the world.”

Not only did this vision give her strength in adversity, but it gave her strength to overcome vice. She says, “How could I possibly take any pleasure in those things which led me directly to so dreadful a place?” She describes herself as a horrible sinner, whom God saved in his mercy, whom he brought by degrees to the path of perfection. She had been on the path to outcome #2. She had almost missed the whole point of life. Seeing the end of this path, she was brought back to the true path, the path to outcome #1, which is the Truth itself.

2

This Truth, the meaning of all life, is Heaven and the eternal vision of God. Let’s be “narrow minded”: there is no other possibility. You don’t make you’re own meaning. You don’t make your own truth. That’s ridiculous, when you can barely make your own sandwich. That’s the path to chaos and total alienation from God.

Do you think that the one that created us doesn’t care what we do? Do you think He made us for no reason at all?

Only in absolute humility can the truth be seen. We are surrounded by distractions from the truth path. The greatest distraction of all is you, your own individual self, and all your “needs.” Until you give up on everything, you have nothing.

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25)

What does it mean to be truly selfless? It is precisely this. To put yourself and your desires last in all things. This is not as easy at it sounds. It is not easy to simply be “a good person.”

When you read the lives of the Saints, St. Teresa, St. Francis of Assisi, Mary and Joseph, St. John the Baptist, St. Therese, you find always this in common. They strove with all their might to kill their own desires.

They denied everything to take up their cross. But what does this mean, to take up your cross?

The world hates the heavenly. It feels judged by God, and so it turns away. Who, at a bar, wants to hear a sermon? Who, watching their favorite TV show, wants it to preach them a moral? Who, engaged in any guilty pleasure, wants to ponder what God thinks of it? The world will go to any length to get rid of the memory of God.

It has, indeed, gone to very great lengths. How many nuns in their habits do you see these days? How many monks in their coarse clothing? How often have you seen monks or nuns or priests portrayed in movies with reverence, and not in mockery? Not often. “But yet the Son of man, when he cometh, shall he find, think you, faith on earth?” (Luke 18:8)

Those who follow Christ, who proclaim their faith in things miraculous and divine, they have marked themselves out especially for persecution. For contradiction, for fear, contempt, and disdain. You are a “fundamentalist.” You don’t believe in modern science. You are a bigot and a racist and you are part of an oppressive patriarchy.

The bear all this is what it means, in modern times, to bear your cross.

And this is why you must give up everything if you want to truly follow Christ. You must give up tolerance, liberty, and diversity of opinion. You must embrace the label “fundamentalist.” You must come back to tradition, to respect of authority, to feeling guilt for your sins. You must submit to the authority of the Church. And now, when the persecution of the Church is so hot, that Rome itself, infiltrated by Freemasons, has apostatized and we are popeless, you must embrace the labels of “sedevacantist,” “conspiracy theorist,” and “radical” as well. So be it. As St. Athanasius put it when the Arian heretics had taken over most of the church hierarchy in the 300s:

“They have the buildings, we have the faith.”

They indeed have the buildings, and more than that. They have the movie studios, the banks, the newspapers, the universities, and the internet. Their propaganda fills the airwaves and commands the attention of almost every man, woman, and child throughout the world. To make friends, you quote TV shows. To get annoyed looks, you quote the Bible.

When God came to earth, he came as a man, Jesus. And he founded a Church. There is only one such Church that has lasted through all the ages. The Traditional Catholic Church.

This whole modernism kick is leading us off the precipice. Have I not convinced you? Indeed I don’t expect to. Only by God’s grace do any of us see the light. But let us do everything for Him Who gave us everything, and Who has the ability to give us infinite joy … or infinite pain.

What is the meaning of life? There are answers out there for those who seek. So please do seek. Be diligent. You only have one life, and next to eternity, it is short.

“Thomas saith to him: Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?” (St. John 14:5)

1

For years I felt the horror of the belief that my mind and soul was merely a bunch of firing neurons. I tried to believe this, at times, with all my might, desiring to believe what was most true. Why did I think atheism was most true? There was no logic behind this, but merely the belief that scientists in general, being weaned from childish things, were manly enough to believe in the cold nothingness of pure matter.

Many rebel now against this cold nothingness, and reject logic altogether, thinking it cold and mechanical and unspiritual. That to be truly spiritual, they think, is to be emotional. And so they look for emotional experiences to ground their faith. But is the human heart anything like a sure guide?

Yet if we reject the passions of our hearts, what are we left with but cold, dead reason? Is that any way to live? So they ask. As Catholics, we do believe that God will send us consolations and comfort. Our part here below is not to pursue such things, however, but to suffer for the truth and trust. “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth: he it is that loveth me. And he that loveth me, shall be loved by my Father” (John 14:21). Our part is to face these dark nights of the soul with courage. Consolations will come not when we will it but when God wills it.

2
They say now that God is an unscientific idea, a holdover from superstitious times when humans saw consciousness in everything, in the stars and the moon. No, they say, it is brutal evolution by natural selection that takes these atoms and forms them into slimes and bugs, crawling things and swimming things, mighty beasts and even … minds like ours. It’s a cold calculation, natural selection. But to disbelieve it, they say, is emotionalism. Sentimentality. Can’t you see we are animals? they say.

The belief in evolution is not based on sound logic, however. It’s based on a false anti-emotionalism, a desire to appear logical. But in seeking to demolish everything comforting about reality, it turns the world on its head. It teaches that perfect comes from imperfect, that cars design engineers, that students teach teachers. It teaches that life and light come from murk and slime.

Science was original with Christianity’s faith in God’s rational order. The laws of physics and chemistry, of biology and psychology, are all exquisitely crafted by our Designer. Imperfection is the merciful work of Perfection, who condescends to create us. It is only lately, when science has lost its theological and philosophical roots, and fragmented into isolated disciplines, that people have forgotten that all this order is connected, meaningful, and rational, having its source in the most rational and meaningful Being of all, and that is God.

The Apostles converted people to Christ by showing them the scientific evidence. Many, many ancient prophecies in Scripture were all fulfilled by his coming. This was confirmed again by Fathers of the Church, and again by modern archaeology with the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, dated back to centuries before His birth.

“I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and magnify thy name, and thou shalt be blessed. I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curse thee, and IN THEE shall all the kindred of the earth be blessed.” (Genesis 12:1-3, written at least 1500 years before Christ, when the Hebrew nation was tiny and seemed insignificant.)

Is atheism scientifically plausible? But science is the pursuit of truth. And if the truth is not perfect, what is it? Is it worth seeking? Where shall we seek it?

Let’s ask with St. Thomas: “How can we know the way?”

And let’s listen for the response.

“Jesus saith to him: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No man cometh to the Father, but by me.” (St. John 14:6)

Luke 2:15

Say you were going for a walk, and someone ran up to you and said, “Your house is on fire!” How would you react? The rational thing to do would be to treat this as a real emergency, right? You would call 911, run back to see, and so on.

Of course, it always possible that the person could be lying. Maybe it is a practical joke, or maybe the person is mistaken, or maybe they are really malicious and are trying to distract you so they can pick your wallet. Nevertheless, taking reasonable precautions to protect yourself, you would still do best to treat this as an emergency, running to prove to yourself that there really is a fire and taking all possible precautions.

But what if the scene happened something like this:

NEIGHBOR: Your house is on fire!

YOU: I choose not to believe it. I still have an hour of my break left and I’m going to use it to finish my walk. Have a good day!

Clearly, in this case you are being irrational. A good neighbor would keep pressing, I think:

NEIGHBOR: I’m not kidding! The fire department is on its way but in the meantime come help me with this hose!

YOU: That’s your truth, not mine. I don’t appreciate you trying to force your beliefs on me.

NEIGHBOR: Are you okay? Maybe you’re in shock … Here, why don’t you sit down and put your head between your legs.

YOU: Don’t tell me what to do! It’s my free choice if I want to continue my walk!

I suppose by now the neighbor would do best to assume you’ve temporarily lost your mind and get more help. Someone to help with the fire and someone to help with the homeowner who appears to be losing it.

The point of these examples are not to show how people behave when in shock. On the contrary, they are meant to show how Relativists behave about certain kinds of news. Anyone who says, “This is my truth, and that is your truth,” or “We all have the freedom of conscience to choose our own religion,” or “You shouldn’t force your beliefs on others” is expressing forms of Relativism. The doctrine of Relativism is a modern belief which holds that no beliefs are absolutely true, but that we all have the right or privilege to choose what is true to us.

But the correct attitude about the question of whether your house is burning down is to treat it as a matter fact that is independent of your perspective. You can doubt if a person is lying or not, but you should look at the evidence before deciding for yourself.

The same goes about this question:

What is the meaning of life?

It is wrong to say, “Well, you choose your own meaning.” That is relativistic. It’s an insane answer, just the like the homeowner who “chooses” not to believe in the fire. Life does, in fact, have a meaning independent of what you want to believe.

To make this clear, let’s look at some more examples.

Say you get hired on as a junior software developer at some large corporation. There was an agent who helped you put together a stellar resume, and it all went so fast that you’re hired on the next day with only a minimal interview. You sit down at your desk, log on to your computer, and stare at your screen for a minute before realizing that you had applied to a job whose title you didn’t understand. “What is a junior software developer?” you ask yourself.

Now, there is a rational and an irrational approach to this sort of question. The irrational approach would be to tell yourself, “Since meaning is a subjective notion, ‘software developer’ means whatever I want it to mean. Great! I get to choose my own job duties!” and proceed to surf the web and play computer games all day. This sort of behavior will get you quickly fired.

The more rational approach would be to use a dictionary. Look at the job posting again and read all the fine print. Go and talk to your new boss and ask him what his expectations are.

The same thing goes for whatever situation you are placed in. Many kindergartners have no idea why they are sitting in a classroom on the first day, and I’m sure many never really figure it out. And that’s to be expected. Kindergarten is about learning what it means to be a student. A good kindergartner quickly realizes that his teacher is the authority and needs to be listened to. He realizes that he himself doesn’t get to decide what to do with his time, nor does he get to invent his own way of doing math problems. He must rely on his teacher for all of this. He must rely on his teacher to teach him what is means to be a student.

So what does it mean to have a life? Why are we here in this world, and what are we supposed to do? Aren’t these questions still more important than the question of what a student is or an employee? Doesn’t the question of the meaning of life encompass these and everything else: being a husband, being a wife, being a son or daughter, being a leader, being a follower, being successful and happy, and so on?

If you were to be hired on as a software developer and your boss did absolutely nothing to tell you your duties, and simply left you at your desk with a computer, without any manuals or instructions or these least idea what to do with your time, would he be a good boss?

So where is the instruction manual for life! How much more do we need one, than for anything else!

And if your boss came over to your desk and said, “Hey there Jim, welcome to the company! I know if you’ve been wondering what exactly you’re supposed to be doing here. Sorry I’ve been stuck in meetings so long. Well, here’s the employee handbook. Read it. And every day at 9 am there will be a training session for new hires. Be there. There will be donuts.”

What should you say? “Nah! That’s a bunch of superstition. I don’t think this company was created by some magical ‘CEO’ who has appointed ‘bosses’ over us to tell us what to do all day. That sounds too hard to me. I’ve heard it’s possible to be fired, but how do I know that’s real? Would a merciful boss really fire people? Anyway, donuts are the opiate of the masses. I think I’ll just stay here and play computer games all day. That’s worked out for me so far.”

* * *

One day angels came and told some shepherds, “For, this day, is born to you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord, in the city of David. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the infant wrapped in swaddling clothes, and laid in a manger.” And how did they respond?

“Let us go over to Bethlehem, and let us see this word that is come to pass, which the Lord hast shewed to us.”